I'm eating all of the evidence.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
