Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
