TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
