Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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