her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
