Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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