I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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