wat bout pragnant strippers??
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
