i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I could make wine with my vomit
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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