Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
