I cockslap morals
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
