my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Why did my mother make you get naked?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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