What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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