whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
