watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
