Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i dont even know how to be here
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
