Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My feet surprised me
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
