okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
