He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize