This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
