The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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