All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
