If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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