oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
