had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
