i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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