Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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