The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
