Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
