I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
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