I'm really into asian looking animals
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
