you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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