Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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