ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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