I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
