And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize