yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
