he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
