break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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