yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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