Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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