I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize