Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
