I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
where am i from again
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
