Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize