we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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