So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
