Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
