butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I wish my penis had an off switch
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
