Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
this is an emotional support booty call
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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