Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
