Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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