So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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