he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
