hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
