theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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