I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
