Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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