I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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