she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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