Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
