all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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