So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
