i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
