The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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